Traitors - the games we play

Words by Helen Wicks

Traitors- the majority of the population are watching this gripping show, but for those who aren’t, in summary; it’s a reality TV show set on the grounds of a country manor in the Scottish highlands. The majority of ‘Faithful’ contestants are on a big agenda to work out who the 3 or so ‘Traitors’ are. Traitors, in their black hooded cloaks, meet in the depths of night to ‘murder’ off those faithfuls one by one. They all partake in testing missions, build up cash for the final prize pot, and gather around fierce roundtables to ‘banish’ contestants they believe to be traitors. The numbers whittle down, til the finale concludes with the question of who will walk away with the money, faithful(s) or any remaining traitor? Their voting concludes the end of the story.

This is a game of high psychological drama, where herd mentality plays out, strategic-thinking takes the group on many twists and turns, and the quest for truth gets under the skin of players and those watching. It’s a game of deception, lying, and betrayal. But it’s also of faithfuls searching for camaraderie in light to win over darkness. It’s a tale of traitors backstabbing and eating one another up the process, and the freedom found in the walk of those not needing to wear a mask. There’s fascinating layers to this watch, which is why it’s caught the nations attention, and why I have been truly hooked on the show over the years.

But there’s been a question that’s nagged away at me in watching it; Does the nature of the games we play matter? Because we say that ‘it’s just a game’, it’s what you sign-up to; an act, a performance. But grey areas creep in, and the game can get a hold over individuals at a deep level. They genuinely build trust and friendship, and call me melodramatic, but there seems to be a genuine knocking of confidence and trust in humanity when those they believed to have been a friend, a faithful, turn out to have been lying to them all along. Do psychological woundings really go down in such traitor revealing moments?

Is there a spiritual dimension to it all? To those who believe in an unseen spiritual realm, can we feed something in our souls as we collude with the lying and deception? Can we be formed by the games we play? Can they tap into and grow tangible parts of who we are? I’ve heard friends say they’d want to ‘be’ a traitor. They live life trying to be a good person, ‘how exciting to play the evil role,’ they say. And it’s disorientated me oh so! Where does that desire stem from? That insinuation that ‘being good’ is a laborious, maybe even a fake endeavour, and yet being ‘evil’ is where the fun is at. Maybe it’s liberating to explore different sides of our personality in the safe boundaries of a game, or maybe, there’s something more sinister to it? Who knows?!

Yes- I am an over-thinker, a strong feeler. But if we are going to spend hours of our life watching such shows, we must ask ourselves the questions. We must look honestly into ourselves, and wonder what this is doing in me or those immersed in it? I do not want to be swept up in a modern day gladiators, watching contenders (even if consenting) wounded for our sole entertainment. I feel this with boxing. During the Olympics, I witnessed the beautiful face of a young man bashed, bruised and bleeding. He obviously found an elated drive in this popular sport, but I felt sick to the core that this could be deemed okay?! I couldn’t watch.

Sometimes it’s more subtle. Like being a ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ fan. I love a Saturday night snuggled on the sofa with my husband, a glass of wine, and watching the joyous journey of celebs learning to dance. But then get hit with pangs of jealousy for the wife of a male celebrity building intimacy up with his scantily dressed gorgeous dancer. Wrapped in one another’s arms, hours spent bonding in practice, exploring sensuality through close touch, surely, the temptation to fall in love can feel all too alluring?! We banter about it as the ‘Strictly Curse’, and I even will it on in watching, wanting the couples SO badly to hungrily kiss at the end of a steamily hot Argentine tango. But here we see it again- those grey areas in our game playing kicking in.

I was at an older couple’s house a few years back. It was a Saturday night, and I suggested we switch on Strictly. ‘I cannot watch it,’ the husband retorted. ‘It’s just… I could not bear to see my Janey dance like that with another man!’ It did not strike me as an overly possessive comment, or even one of over-conscientious Christian judgement, but more, of a man who simply held an appropriate jealous love for his wife. Which struck me, because I’d become so desensitised to the older men in my life lusting light-heartedly after the sexy Strictly dancers. I’d laugh along, yet deep down, it would drip feed this message into me that come my 60’s, my husband would rather dance with that younger hotter model. But not David, his eyes were fixed on ‘his Janey!’ And this made my heart sing.

I don’t think that just happens, I think that comes with tending to your marriage, tending to your soul, tending to what we do and don’t watch. Tending to evenings spent not always zoning out on our devices, but seeking true connection. Which may feel more complicated and hard-going, but where playful adventure is truly at.

I do not mean to sound like a kill joy. And I know with TV and most game playing, there’ll always be a tension of creative genius and shadow sides. I do not want to be that christian who cuts myself off from all that is secular, and creates a pharisaic ‘holier than thou’ unrelateable clique. I want to be like Jesus who was accused of being a drunkard dining with the sinners of his society. I want to find myself at the heart of a cultural buzz, but who knows how to hold themselves in steadiness and purity. Who can party, but not get drunk. Dance, but not lust away. Bubbly converse, but not gossip. And so on. This is the walk we walk as Christians, to be ‘in the world, but not of the world.’ It’s a fine tight rope of a walk, where I know it’s about retreating with Jesus to the secret place, and asking him what he thinks. Letting him search our fragile beings, and shepherd us through our messy marvellous world.

I do not think this is about black and white answers, right and wrongs, do’s and don’ts, this is about the mysterious matters of the heart. ‘Shall I watch Traitors Lord?’ I ask in prayer. And he says let’s take a walk by the coast and chat. Let’s sit around the fire and invite your friends to wrestle it out. Let’s immerse ourselves in embodied living away from our addictive screens, and submerge into the depths of life-giving waters. And as our heads rise from the waves, I’ll catch my Lord’s gleaming eyes, knowing He’s the faithful I’ve trusted all along, knowing He’s the one I want to see things through til the end with! ‘Shall we form an alliance?’ I’ll jest away. And I reckon he’ll laugh back too.

Helen Wicks from Meg’s Substack <megwicks@substack.com> 4th November 2025